Tuesday, April 8, 2008

no secrets

I have been bugged by several to blog this, so here it is. Probably to my mother's embarrassment. But do you know what this means? We've got no secrets now. You, readers, and I, have forged a bond of trust that can only be broken by you.

A few weeks ago, on Easter, I was arrested. Cuffed and everything and taken to the sheriff's office. It was late at night and I was leaving Preston for home in SLC, and after I got gas I was pulled over for not stopping completely as I left the gas station. Whatever. Was that because I bought gas on a Sunday? But then the cop came back and tells me I have a suspended license. I was probably so surprised that he thought I was faking. He didn't know anything about why, but said he'd have to arrest me. He brought me in front of his car to get on with protocol. However, they did not search me for weapons, and did not Mirandize me. I had started to cry earlier, but by the time he was struggling with the cuffs, I was trying really hard not to laugh. I couldn't even feel embarassed. I, geeky Mormon girl who's never even had a drop of alcohol or tried a cigarette, was getting put in cuffs. And seriously, it took him a really long time to get those cuffs on. As he did he said, "I know you're a good person, we're not going to treat you like a criminal." Oh, you mean like by putting me in handcuffs? Once at the sheriff's, the other cop, Mustache, took my mug shot. I asked for a copy, which I let him think was for a scrapbook. Probably only half the population of Preston has the internet, let alone knows what a blog is.

Jealous? Lucky for me, my dad came and bailed me out and paid such a ridiculous amount, you'd think the charge was burglary. It really was a miracle that my mom had a big stash of cash at home. The cop got a little saucy with my dad when he found out we were paying cash and didn't want to call a bail bondsman.

So as it turns out, the whole thing was big confusion between my insurance company, the driver's license division, the postal service, and me. I was able to immediately get my license reinstated. I went to court on Friday and pled not guilty, and soon I will meet with the city prosecutor and get it all taken care of. I sat in front a judge who last year had been charged with assault and battery for slapping a crying teenager in his chambers. When he was explaining to me that the mandatory minimum sentence for driving without privileges is 2 nights in jail, I wanted to ask if I could trade that for a good hand across the face. There has been a lot of corruption in that small town. Police chiefs, mayors, and teachers steal, cheat, molest, and get away with it because of what my dad calls the "good old boys' club." I can say these things because good old boys don't read blogs. Don't get me wrong, there are lots of great people and things in Preston too. Like my aunt Stacie. And the grocery store. For a two stop light town, it has an incredible selection. Oh's cereal and Metromint water and everything.

So there you have it. Did I leave anything out of that story?

16 comments:

Caulfield said...

Gee, I wonder how much thesmokinggun.com would pay for your mugshot?

Jo said...

oh you mock.

niall said...

Hmm, this story sounds familiar...

kathryn said...

i love this.

Brooke said...

Wowzers. My jaw has dropped. You are so awesome.

Kurt said...

I also suffer from jaw droppage. Uh, nice mugshot? I have no words.

Mike & Shelby said...

my moms answering service answers for a few bondsman...I always rolled my eyes when the person calling said "I need to bail out my daughter...she is innocent" Guess I'll have to remind myself of this next time.

So sorry for your misadventure.

judypdrsn said...

It's your stalker here. I just have to say OMG - that's so crazy. Was it kind of worth it a little bit for the street cred?

SMALL and TALL said...

wow u wrote about it! told my sis she was dying of shock. miss u

Anonymous said...

Our sweet innocent thing hauled off in handcuffs? An abuse of justice if you ask me!
Connie

reasonenough said...

I am floored.
But one question: why didn't you smile for your portrait?

Stephanie said...

I am commentless! I hope you get a good attorney!

Jo said...

judy: street cred, totally. or at least to use if i ever have to play that game "i've never..."

stace: do i look tough in my portrait? that's what i was going for.

and steph: it's a good thing i've got a $400/hr attorney in the family (who works for me for free, er, favors)

Cody & Jessica Peters said...

Wow. That is a crazy story! I can't believe they actually took much shots!

Kevin Barlow said...

wow this story is awesome... do you want me to put in a good word with the prosecutor? HA..... dont worry I am sure he is not part of the good old boys club... dont even get me started on the Judge....

Jo said...

i met with the prosecutor today and it's all over. too bad it wasn't todd, it was the other guy. but todd did give me some good advise!